angel1972

Cross your fingers everyone!

Sun, 29 Nov 2009 16:10:07 GMT

I may sorta, kinda be going into a bit of side business some time the future.

My friend has spoken to a guy who owns a little store by her home, and he has agreed to sell our baking.

I'm very excited about this! I enjoy baking, so the idea of making a few dollars doing something I actually like is very exhilarating for me.

Wish me luck that it comes through.

And not to brag, but my baking is that damn good! ; P

Q&A from race

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 14:58:28 GMT

In case anyone hasn't seen it yet, here's the meme:

Leave me a comment saying "Resistance is Futile."
I'll respond by asking you five questions so I can satisfy my curiosity
Update your journal with the answers to the questions
Include this explanation in the post and offer to ask other people questions.

1. Marry, shag, throw off a cliff: Catherine Willows, Lady Heather, Sofia Curtis (yes i play dirty):
    Dirty? That's just plain evil!
Marry: Sofia, she just seems the most stable out of the 3, with the least baggage, and least drama. She's loyal, smart, and I could watch that swagger of hers all day. Shag: That would be Lady Heather. C'mon she was a dominatrix! Nuff said!    Throw off a cliff: Catherine. This was more a process of elimination, as opposed to me hating her. Though there are times when the writers have her do something out of character just for the sake of a plotline that makes me want to strangle someone.

2. If you could change one single aspect of your life, what would it be and why? Financial aspect. I owe a lot of money because of school loans, and it just weighs down on me everyday. I think if I hadn't done what was expected of me and had taken my time, I'd have one less job and a lot less stress to contend with.

3. Stupidest customer experience :p Hmmm, I would have to say it was when I was in the express lane (10 items or less) and a customer came up to register and told me because she bought 10 of one product, it counts as 1 item. She also had a bunch of other stuff as well. In total she had 21 items, but in her mind she had 11. I was completely speechless when she told me this. Because by her logic if someone were to come through with 100 items it would be okay so long as they bought in increments of 10. And she's not the 1st one to do this either.

4. What does true love mean to you? Contentment. Patience. Acceptance.

5. How did you get into "fandom"? Serrendipitously. My 1st fandom (points to icon) was an anime Tenchi Muyo, there were 3 seperate, distinct series to it which I was unaware of, so I ended up looking it up the internet. It was then that I discovered fansites and fanfiction and everything else that goes along with being in a fandom. It wasn't 'til years later when I got into csi that I got up the courage to particapate.

Retail . . . . .

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 12:38:47 GMT

It's not for the faint of heart.

The weak of stomach.

Or for anyone with a large gun collection.

And yes it has been one of those weeks.

Bindings part 2

Fri, 25 Sep 2009 15:51:42 GMT

Title: Bindings part two.
Author: angel1972
Feedback Email: angelaumbrello@yahoo.com
Rating: PG (just to be on the safe side)
Pairing: Catherine/Lady Heather
Fandom: CSI: LV
Fragment: #36 “or you love some man more than me.”
Word Count: 1455 (w/o the header)
Summary: A companion piece to Bindings part 1. Catherine’s point of view on a doomed romance.
Warnings/Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or any of the characters, this is done purely for entertainment puposes.
Author's Notes: 1) If you want to archive this story, just tell me.
                 2) This is a stand alone companion piece to part 1 as opposed to a sequel, so if it’s been a while since you read part 1 then you should be okay to read this.
                 3) I have no idea or if I’ll be writing a part 3.
Beta: Thanks and hugs to Margy and Rosie for helping me.

Bindings part 1 is here; community.livejournal.com/passion_perfect/377642.html

*****

“In the land of memory, the time is now. In the kingdom of ago the clocks tick . . . but their hands never move.”   Stephen King, Song of Susannah.

*****

Passive suicide.

I don’t need a psych degree, or a fancy text book to tell me that.

I’m a mother after all; I understand.

I understand the depths of despair you must have gone through. I understand the anguish and grief that must have fed on you like a school of hungry pirana. Our daughters are everything, the sole focal point of our whole life. They are the reason we get out of bed in the morning, the reason we work, the reason we breathe.

Without them we have nothing; we are nothing.

So it was no surprise that you would attempt suicide. What was surprising was that you needed a second party to do the deed. Was it your rigorous Christian upbringing with edicts against suicide that prevented you from taking your own life? Or did the passivity represent the helplessness you felt, the feeling that you had so little control over your own life? Was hiring someone to kill you the only way for you to regain that vaunted control?

Whatever it was, I can’t help but wonder, had I been there, had I not been a coward and abandoned you, would I have been strong enough to anchor you to life? Would I have been reason enough for you to keep going?

I guess I’ll never know.

I can still see you standing in the doorway of the Dominion. You were dark and beautiful, and looked as you had just stepped down from Mt. Olympus. For the first time in my life I felt awe toward another human being.

I knew what kind of place the Dominion was, but it didn’t matter to me. Though most people would have found your establishment to be distasteful at best, I found my curiosity piqued. I could hear the cries of pain/pleasure and knew that the whole place ran on your word. I found along with my awe a kernel of respect was growing. I liked the idea of a woman with all that power; I liked how you made Jim and Gil squirm.

When I returned the next day to inspect masks, I found that something else was growing.

Attraction.

I could feel my pulse quicken, and warmth spread through my chest. There was just something about that moment, the two of us standing in your kitchen chatting away about our work and our daughters that made me see you as more than a domme. And I liked what I saw. I was certain you liked what she saw as well, because one minute you were telling me I’d make a good dominatrix, and the next we were kissing.

It was a perfect first kiss, the kind you dream of, practice for, but never achieve, usually because one or both of you are too nervous or too self-conscious, we were neither. It was . . . natural, and yet it felt almost as if we were under some kind of spell. We were drawn to each other by some invisible force that neither one of us bothered fighting.

The spell was broken when my pager went off. I took what I needed from the sink, and left without even a backwards glance. I didn’t know what would have been worse, seeing regret in your eyes or lust.

It took me nearly two weeks to screw up the courage to return. Though there were several times in the median I found myself turning left to your Dominion instead of right to my house, but always something made me correct my course. I think it was fear. Maybe it was of rejection, maybe it was of having read too much into something that was simply heat of the moment. Or maybe, if I were to be honest with myself, it was something about your raw sexuality that gave me pause. I could feel something in me starting to awaken when we kissed, something I had thought was long buried.

Anyway, I ended up on your front stairs. It was after a particularly long and difficult case and I was exhausted. Consciously I was thinking of going home and having a nice long soak in the bathtub; my unconscious on the other hand had other ideas. It was like a string was connecting me and you, it was pulling us together because before I knew it, I found myself knocking on your door. I was nervous and expectant, and I spent the next few moments trying to concoct a believable excuse for my long absence as I waited for you to answer.

I shouldn’t have bothered.

I barely had ten words out of my mouth before you were silencing with your hand over my mouth which was quickly replaced with your mouth. It was if no time had passed between kisses, and once again I could feel heat burning through my chest and stomach and settling right between my legs where it was joined by a dull throbbing ache. In my mind I could feel a part of my subconscious rejoice as if it were a long held captive now finally free.

It was only after we pulled apart for air that I became aware that my hands were shaking slightly. I looked into your eyes and there was no mistaken this as heat of the moment. You wanted me; I wanted you.

The trip to your private chambers was a blur. We could have sprouted wings and flown there and I wouldn’t have noticed, or remembered. I do remember practically tearing your clothes off; I do remember how you tasted, how you smelt, and how you sounded when you came.

We didn’t make love that day, nor any of the following days that I visited. It was lust. It was sex. It was two powerful women who for a brief moment were allowed to lower their guards without fear of what others would think.

And that’s how things started going downhill.

I don’t know when it happened, or how it happened, it came upon me slowly and insidiously.
In less than six months we had gone from pure sex to something I didn’t dare name, but in hindsight knew damn well what it was.

First there was awe, then there was respect, then there was attraction, and then . . . and then there was love.

If it had remained purely physical, things would have been different. They certainly would have been simpler. I would not feel this overwhelming desire to be by your side, nor would I feel guilty because I’m not there, I can’t be there. I gave up that right the moment I chose to care about what others would think of my actions.

But you have to understand something, I’ve worked my whole life to be respectable. It took a lot of effort to bury my old life under the facade of normalcy. I don’t smoke, strip, or take drugs. I go to pta meetings (when I can), and I’ve even baked a cookie or two.

I wanted to be thought of as normal, as just another little drone buzzing about trying to provide for my daughter, something more secure than my mother provided me. I never expected to meet someone like you, or that the walls I built around my old life, my old urges would crumble so easily. I thought they were made of bricks, but in the end it turned out they were made of cards.

And now it’s too late to do anything even if I wanted to. I saw you at the park with Gil and Allison. He had his arm around your shoulders and the two of you were watching the toddler. You looked like a real family, it was like a dagger was thrust into my chest. You didn’t need me anymore (if you ever did). And even if I could make myself go to you, what would I say? What would I do? Too much time has gone by to simply pick up where we left off. Besides, he’s there. And of course out of all the times I chastised him for not having people skills, this is the time he decides to listen to me.

I have no right to anger, and yet I feel my face burn with it. I have no right to jealousy, and yet my eyes I’m certain are a nice shade of green. But mostly I have no right to deny you the support and care of a friend.

And if something should grow, who am I to deny you love?

Even if it’s with Gil.

*End.*

Wish me luck . . .

Sun, 09 Aug 2009 18:02:31 GMT

This following week is going to be very, very, long. Between my 2 jobs I will be working close to 70 hours.

And Shaw's is actually trusting me enough to train for the service desk. I'm thinking of starting a pool for how long it will take for me to sufficiently piss a customer off that they boot back to bagging.

Any takers?

If only . . .

Sun, 09 Aug 2009 17:55:52 GMT

Writer's Block: Bite Me

Mon, 27 Jul 2009 12:23:58 GMT

From Dr. Polidori's Lord Ruthven to Stephenie Meyer's Edward Cullen, the annals of vampire lore are filled with attractive, charming bloodsuckers. Which one would you most want to be bitten by?

View 513 Answers

You can keep Edward, I wouldn't mind being turned by Bill Compton from True Blood.

Writer's Block: All-Nighter

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 12:37:04 GMT

When was the last time you stayed up all night? What were you doing?

View 505 Answers

Last night, I've been working the graveyard shift for the past 11 years.

Writer's Block: It Sounds Better When You Say It

Sat, 06 Jun 2009 18:01:30 GMT

No matter what language you speak, you've probably come across words or phrases in another language that sound better than their equivalents in your native tongue. What's your favorite word or phrase in a foreign language?

View 507 Answers

Mono no aware, it's a Japanese phrase used to describe the transience of things and the feeling of bitter sweetness that follows.

Writer's Block: You Ate What?

Sat, 16 May 2009 12:38:59 GMT

What's the weirdest thing you've ever eaten? Would you eat it again?

View 501 Answers

I guess roasted eel would count as weird. And yes I would eat it again.

Snagged from Rosie

Thu, 14 May 2009 15:04:53 GMT

1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
Sallie mae (school loan)

2. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
Never been on one

3. What do you really want to be doing right now?
writing or slepping, can't decide.

4. How many colleges did you attend?
three

5. Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?
because i don't think anyone wants to see me topless

6. What are your thoughts on gas prices?
don't drive

7. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
I can get showered and dressed in less than 20 minutes *hits snooze button*

8. Last thought before going to sleep last night?
Thinking is what keeps me up all night, so nothing

9. Do you miss being a child?
not really, i prefer to be responsible for myself and not dependent on others

10. What errand/chore do you despise?
cleaning

11. Get up early or sleep in?
i don't know, i get up at 9:45 pm, so i either sleep really late, or get up really early

12. Have you found real love yet?
no, and i don't want to

13. Favorite lunch meat?
rosemary ham

14. What do you get every time you go into Target?
don't shop at target

15. Beach or lake?
lake

16. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
no, i just have no use for it personally

17. Sopranos or Desperate Housewives?
neither

18. What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
Rosie said Henry the 8th and Elizabeth the 1st but i'm going with Anne Boleyn. Hey, maybe we can all have a meal together, no awkwardness there.

19. Have you ever crashed your vehicle?
no, i never learned to drive

20. Ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?
no, thank goodness

21. Ring tone?
AC/DC black in black

22. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth?
I guess the bathroom at work

23. Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to go?
never been there, have no desire to change that

24. Do you go to church?
not anymore

25. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or a new relationship?
a new career

26. How old are you?
36

27. Do you have a go-to person?
yes...i think

28. Are you where you want to be in life?
*sniffles* no

29. Growing up, what were your favorite cartoons?
Bugs Bunny, thundercats, transformers

30. What about you do you think has changed the most?
my waistline, my underwear

31. Looking back at high school, were they the best years of your life?
God, no. I'm just glad I survived.

32. Are there times you still feel like a kid?
sometimes when i look at the night sky

33. Did you ever own troll dolls?
no

34. Did you have a pager?
no

35. Where was the hang out spot when you were a teenager?
strict italian father wouldn't let me out, ever

36. Were you the type of kid you would want your children to hang out with?
i don't think so

37. Who do you think impacted your life the most?
my father, for helping to make me the socially inept person i am today

38. Was there a teacher or authority figure that stood out for you?
Sister Mary Elizabeth who was principal at Rosary Academy, my gym teacher during high school who was a real bastard but he caught me a couple of times when i was having problems.

39. Do you tell stories that start with “when I was your age”?
no, I don't think I'm quite that old

40. Is it better to love and lose it or never to love at all?
if your talking about romantically then never. i don't have the time nor the patience .

Writer's Block: Dream On

Wed, 13 May 2009 20:45:51 GMT

Do you ever have recurring dreams? If so, are they good dreams or nightmares?

View 501 Answers

I have had quite a few dreams where I break through the earth's atmosphere and fly through the galaxy. I can see all the planets and even look directly at the sun.

These are my favorite dreams, even though I have no idea what it represents.

Writer's Block: Folktales of the City

Fri, 08 May 2009 20:39:29 GMT

What is your favorite urban legend? Have you or anyone you know ever been fooled by one?

Submitted By mercyb

View 500 Answers

My favorite is the one where the doberman who almost chokes on a burglar's fingers. The first time I heard it, I was fooled, and I have been fooled by others.

Imagine waking up one morning and seeing this......

Sun, 26 Apr 2009 16:34:26 GMT

Writer's Block: Shhhh

Sun, 19 Apr 2009 11:37:48 GMT

Would you ever go on a silent retreat? How long do you think you could go without talking?

View 501 Answers

I would love to go on a silent retreat. I'm pretty sure I could go days without talking.

Writer's Block: Taxmen and Poetry

Wed, 15 Apr 2009 20:11:44 GMT

It's Tax Day in the U.S., a day when the mind might be too occupied with deductions and long lines at the post office to think about poetry. But let's try: what's your favorite line of poetry? Song lyrics count.

View 500 Answers

"lock not away your love nor keep it hid"

Carl Sandburg Honey and Salt. It's also my favorite poem.

Writer's Block: Sweet Tooth

Sun, 12 Apr 2009 12:02:07 GMT

What is your favorite holiday-specific candy or treat?

View 503 Answers

It used to be Cadbury eggs, but they have been dethroned by Lindt's gold bunny.

Writer's Block: GIP (Gratuitous Icon Post)

Sun, 29 Mar 2009 11:42:15 GMT

You finally have an excuse to use it—what userpic do you not get to use very often but can't delete because it's just that awesome?

View 500 Answers

I'm using it right now. It's the main reason I got the paid account.

I believe. . . .

Sat, 28 Mar 2009 14:56:39 GMT

forcing your employees to listen to Britney Spears and Paris Hilton' s (and I use the term loosely) music should be considered a violation of their constitutional right against cruel and unusual punishment.

On a side note I I feel as if I've been vindicated. For years as child I would be repimaned by teachers for daydreaming, and now I've found that scientist have found it's actually good you.

Take that grammar school teachers!!

I thought of Margy when I saw this for some reason.....

Sat, 28 Mar 2009 14:39:23 GMT

Whew!!

Mon, 02 Mar 2009 13:59:37 GMT

I got a bit of good news over the weekend, my hours are not being cut (at least for now) and therefore my benefits are safe.

And even if some where down the line they do need to be cut, my supervisor is well aware that I need to keep my average up.

Writer's Block: Desert Island Time

Mon, 02 Mar 2009 13:48:42 GMT

You're packing your bag for that magical desert island that happens to have electricity, a TV, and a DVD player—what five DVDs do you take with you?

View 501 Answers

1 Bringing Up baby
2 Auntie Mame (Rosalind Russell version)
3 Elizabeth (Cate Blanchett)
4 Kiki's Delivery Service
5 The Women (original 1939 version)

For those of you keeping track at home....

Tue, 24 Feb 2009 21:26:44 GMT

I just broke my 3rd tooth.

I'm going to have to dig up another $600 to get it fixed.

Though I have to say I kept pretty calm about it (that is if you consider swearing for 5 minutes calm).

And CVS is cutting my hours, and if they continue to do so, I'll lose all my benefits.

Ain't recessions fun? T -T

Wow

Mon, 23 Feb 2009 14:03:26 GMT

Writer's Block: Words to Live By

Sat, 21 Feb 2009 22:24:06 GMT

What is your personal motto or favorite quotation?

View 500 Answers

The gods favor the bold. - Ovid

There's a longer version, but I like this one because it gets to the crux of the message quicker.